"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them". -- Ralph Nichols
In our quick paced society of juggling schedules, meeting deadlines and multi-tasking, we don't always take the time to listen to what's going on around us and for that matter, what we're being told. We don't always listen to the whole story and we're quick to jump to solutions so we can move to the next task at hand. Below is a short listening quiz provided by Doug Gray, PCC, ICF-certified coach, speaker, leadership trainer, and author.
Please answer each question either TRUE or FALSE.
1.Listening is a learned skill that requires an active engagement.
2.Hearing is an inactive skill affected by age, health, and interest.
3.We speak at 300 words per minute. We listen 4 times faster, at 1,000-1,200 words per minute. Therefore, our minds frequently wander.
4.All communication is received, but 70-90% of the data is screened out or altered by the receiver.
5.Listening is perceived as a powerful skill by most people.
6.We were born with two ears and just one mouth. Therefore, we should listen twice as much as we speak!
7.Cultural tendencies do not affect our listening skills.
8.Our brain often processes data forward (What do I say next? How do I defend myself? What shall I have for lunch?), or in reverse (Did I turn the car lights off? Did I get an e-mail back from...?).
9.We can suspend judgment when listening by focusing on comprehension rather than details.
10.Our ability to listen is not affected by meta-messages, the message within the message.
11.Confirming understanding/stating alignment does not imply that you agree with the message.
Now score yourself. Only # 5 is False. All others are true.
How did you do? Any surprises?
If 10-11 correct - WELL DONE!
If 8-9 correct - YOU'RE ON TRACK; KEEP WORKING AT IT
If < 7 correct - USE THE TIPS BELOW and request feedback
Listening Tips
Try implementing these tips into your daily routine and assess what else you can incorporate into your skill-set to become an even better communicator:
* Don't suggest words or finish sentences when a pause occurs
* Listen, don't solve or judge
* Ask probing questions to obtain clarity
* Be aware of when "selective" listening is likely to occur (Age, skill, gender, relative, etc)
* If time is an issue let the person know and schedule more time, or ask "let's summarize what we've decided".
* Let the person know if more facts are required prior to decision making or for further discussions
* Be aware of your "non" listening behaviors ex. pencil tapping, raised eyebrows, blank stares, "zoning" out
"You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time." -- M. Scott Peck
In our quick paced society of juggling schedules, meeting deadlines and multi-tasking, we don't always take the time to listen to what's going on around us and for that matter, what we're being told. We don't always listen to the whole story and we're quick to jump to solutions so we can move to the next task at hand. Below is a short listening quiz provided by Doug Gray, PCC, ICF-certified coach, speaker, leadership trainer, and author.
Please answer each question either TRUE or FALSE.
1.Listening is a learned skill that requires an active engagement.
2.Hearing is an inactive skill affected by age, health, and interest.
3.We speak at 300 words per minute. We listen 4 times faster, at 1,000-1,200 words per minute. Therefore, our minds frequently wander.
4.All communication is received, but 70-90% of the data is screened out or altered by the receiver.
5.Listening is perceived as a powerful skill by most people.
6.We were born with two ears and just one mouth. Therefore, we should listen twice as much as we speak!
7.Cultural tendencies do not affect our listening skills.
8.Our brain often processes data forward (What do I say next? How do I defend myself? What shall I have for lunch?), or in reverse (Did I turn the car lights off? Did I get an e-mail back from...?).
9.We can suspend judgment when listening by focusing on comprehension rather than details.
10.Our ability to listen is not affected by meta-messages, the message within the message.
11.Confirming understanding/stating alignment does not imply that you agree with the message.
Now score yourself. Only # 5 is False. All others are true.
How did you do? Any surprises?
If 10-11 correct - WELL DONE!
If 8-9 correct - YOU'RE ON TRACK; KEEP WORKING AT IT
If < 7 correct - USE THE TIPS BELOW and request feedback
Listening Tips
Try implementing these tips into your daily routine and assess what else you can incorporate into your skill-set to become an even better communicator:
* Don't suggest words or finish sentences when a pause occurs
* Listen, don't solve or judge
* Ask probing questions to obtain clarity
* Be aware of when "selective" listening is likely to occur (Age, skill, gender, relative, etc)
* If time is an issue let the person know and schedule more time, or ask "let's summarize what we've decided".
* Let the person know if more facts are required prior to decision making or for further discussions
* Be aware of your "non" listening behaviors ex. pencil tapping, raised eyebrows, blank stares, "zoning" out
"You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time." -- M. Scott Peck
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